When walking with Christ you want to be Christ-like. Meaning like a child following or mimicking a parent you want to do the same. You want to walk, talk, behave, love and serve just like Jesus Christ. I am no exception to this rule. Last year I made it up in my mind that sometime this year I would be baptized again. I knew where I wanted to be baptized and who I wanted to baptize me. Jesus did tell me that it wasn’t necessary but he appreciated it because it was something that I wanted to do. So, going into my decision I knew it wasn’t a need but a want; which made me want to do it even more! I had these expectations. It had been 24 years since I’d first came to Christ. During those 24 years I wasn’t always obedient and while there were times that I did seek out the Lord, I definitely didn’t do it with all of my heart, nor was I consistent with it.
Thinking back on it now, our relationship was no different from a physical child and parent relationship. The child goes through periods of complete adoration and shadowing, to questioning and thinking one knows more than the parent, to exploring, bumping the head, learning lessons the hard way, and then ultimately (most times) coming back to the parent with the understanding that they hold a lot of wisdom and was only trying to help you out the entire time.
Knowing that in our relationship that we had gone through all of these twists and turns I wanted to have a clean slate. I figured along the 24 years I’d picked up some un-necessary baggage that I was more than willing to get rid of. For some reason, I figured my second water baptism was going to be this astronomical huge earth-shattering event. In my mind, I would be dipped in the water and it would start to bubble and boil and as it bubbled and boiled any demonic spirits or beings attached to me would flee with blood-curdling cries and mist and smoke. Then after all of that happened I would be lifted out of the water singing beautifully to the heavens and that song would turn into uncontrollable holy tongues that I would speak in for hours to Elohim…. Well, none of that happened. My second water baptism was very similar to my first water baptism. I was ready and I was nervous (because I was trying to prepare myself for the astronomical event that was going to take place, whereas before I was just nervous of the unknown). I still had the same worries as before –How are my clothes going to stick to my body? Hopefully, none of my undergarments make any outlines. Is my hair going to frizz up and then matt into unruly curls? I still had the same problem of not fully listening to the prayer or scripture(s) being read aloud because I was too busy having a private prayer in my mind with Jesus. I was still flooding him with an abundance of questions and request. I was still asking Him if He could hold my hand or embrace me in a hug. A lot was going on inside of me, just as before. And just like before He came. And when He did I cried a river of tears and He expertly wiped each one (I cannot explain it any better besides my tears were wiped before they reached my chin). This time I did fully recognize a holy audience. We weren’t alone with Jesus. I could feel complete joy all around, though I could see nothing with my naked eyes.
When it came time to walk into the river and be dipped down I was still caught up in my thoughts about uncleanness leaving and the uproar it would cause and this new angelic voice I was going to inherit along with this new language. As I was dipped time stopped for a minute. I looked around while under the water expecting to see bubbling water and moving spirits and instead I saw calm flowing water… the water even appeared clear. I could see all of the different colored rocks along the bottom, the white blanket wrapped around me floating pleasantly, and the sky and trees I could see perfectly clear. Then I was pulled back on my feet realizing that I hadn’t held my breath that entire time I started to cough as water had gotten in my nose. After my coughing subsided (no more than a few seconds) I was filled once again with complete peace and happiness. I didn’t feel Zest-fully clean but I felt more Dove-fully cleansed. Meaning, I wasn’t feeling stripped of anything. I felt more replenished and calm. I just wanted to sing softly in my tone-deaf melody words of thanks and praise to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My thousand and one questions were muted, my insecurities forgotten and heart just smiled and rested in God’s hands. I was happy that I had chosen to be baptized again. I was baptized by someone that I love and regard as family that is a true person of God. I got the opportunity to make another noteworthy memory with Jesus, saying to Him in my own little way, that given the opportunity to do it all over again 24 years later I would still and did do it again with my full heart and thoughts resting on Him.